99+ Funny WhatsApp Status and SMS Jokes

By | June 19, 2017

Whatsapp is the best application to share the short and sweet messages to our beloved ones. Nowadays WhatsApp is going viral to all the people and it plays a major in our day life. Especially young guys mostly spending time on Whatsapp to text and share some valuable and funny things with their friends. So, Here we would like to provide some good collections of Latest Funny Whatsapp SMS and Joke to share with anyone to impress them. All these will help to make your day with fun and lots of laughs. Now it is time to grab the Best Whats SMS Jokes to share on your status.

Funny Whatsapp SMS

  • Whenever I get sad I stop being sad and start being awesome.
  • The world turns, this explains so many silly people …
  • My son will call himself an ipad, just so I say I have a………!!!
  • Managing money is easy. It is difficult to manage the lack of it.
  • If the facts do not confirm the theory, abandon the facts.
  • Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler.
  • The More You wraps Your Feelings for Someone, The More You Fall for Them.
  • Beauty disappears After Time, But Personality remains forever!
  • There are only two types of women, those who love me, or those who still do not know me.
  • Feb 14th is Valentine’s Day; The other 364 are ours …
  • If our future depends on our dreams, then let’s sleep!
  • I barely know anything … but I suspect something!
  • I think my cupid is a mathematician: he only brings me problems.
  • When you’re singing! So you will see that your voice is worse than your problems …
  • If your problem is money and you have no money, then you do not have a problem.
  • There are two ways to treat women. So far nobody has found out which ones.
  • Do not take life so seriously, after all, you will not get out of it alive …!
  • I’m in shape, round is a shape, isn’t it?
  • Faith removes mountains. The dynamite is not even talked about!
  • With you I am never worried about what the future holds because I know you will be with me holding my hands.
  • The world needs more humble geniuses! Nowadays we are few

funny sms Whatsapp

Funny Whatsapp SMS Jokes

1)  Save papers don’t do homework.

2) I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

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3) Flip a coin… If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine.:)

4) Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are already taken.

5) Gravity always gets me down.:)

6) I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

7) You are born without asking and you die unintentionally. Enjoy the break!

8) I’m GREAT in bed. I sleep that it’s a beauty.

9) If plan A did not work, do not give up, the alphabet has 25 more letters for you to try

10) Status of evolving relationship: love, sweetheart and die!

11) Do not just be poor … You have to talk: It’s just a souvenir!

12) I would like to have a child one day … two days only!

13) I hate bipolar people. Seriously, I love it!

14) Money does not bring happiness … order it!

15) A tip to look good in the photos: Be beautiful.

16) I’m never late, I just expect.

17) I think my biggest gift is to spend money and then I regret it

18) The only happy ending I know is the weekend.

19) They say that everything goes around. I think my money is lost along the way.

20) Passing the woman back is easy, difficult is to pass on!

funny whatsapp SMS jokes

 

Funny Whatsapp SMS Love

The difference between like, love and in love is the same difference between for now, for a while and forever.

1) You cannot buy Love, but still you need to pay for it.
2)Your cute smile is all I need to battle all struggles in my life.
3)I was looking for someone that can improve my life, but then I met you and found my 4)life in you which were already perfect.
5)Before I met you, I never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason.
6)When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
7)Never make the one you love feel alone, especially when you’re there.
8)I love how she makes me feel. Like anything is possible or like life is worth.
9) I think I think, therefore, I think I exist!
10) If Facebook had been created by a woman, it would certainly have a “I will not tell you” button
11) I like food so much that my favorite superhero is the supermarket.
12) If time were money, my watch would be a millionaire!
13) When one does not want to … the other insists
14) If you are feeling alone, abandoned, thinking that no one cares about you … delay a payment …
15) Giving up is for the weak … Do as I do, do not even try
16) They say that happiness comes from small things … So look at your salary and be happy …
17) Working has never killed anyone, but why take a chance?
18) Whoever laughs last does not understand the joke!
19) If the fire extinguisher catches fire, what should we do?
20) The day somebody chases after me can be sure, it’s a robbery!
funny whatsapp SMS love

Latest Funny WhatsApp Status

  1. Your opinion for me is equal to Youtube ad: I ignore it in 5 seconds.
  2. Politicians are like diapers … They must be changed constantly, and always for the same reason.
  3. Why do men prefer smart women? Because opposites attract.
  4. There are people who like Carnival so much, that they live the whole year in mask.
  5. It is not enough to be poor. You have to turn down the TV volume to listen when there is a fight in the neighbor.
  6. It’s no use spending your life looking for your half of the orange if you’re a sour lemon.
  7. Learn one thing: the world does not revolve around you. Only when you drink too much.
  8. I’m not afraid to get fired, even because the salary difference would not be so great.
  9. The worst enemy of man is the drink … But the man who flees from his enemies is not a coward !?
  10. How to make money from the Internet: Go to your Facebook, deactivate and go to work.
  11. Even the battery of my cell phone lasts longer than the eternal love of certain people!
  12. Over time I learned the meaning of love to others. Do not love me? Next!
  13. The woman who has no luck with men does not know how lucky she is.
  14. My biggest flaw is being too modest … if I were not so modest I would be perfect!
  15. Eat shit! Millions of flies can not be wrong …!
  16. Concerning social networks, the first thing I’m going to teach my son is: Never cut your own photo.
  17. Never use one person to forget another, use two or three that works right
  18. Some mistakes are too much fun to commit once. “

SHORT FUNNY  JOKE

  • God must love stupid people. He did many.
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  • Good girls are bad girls who are never caught.
  •   Behind every successful man is his wife. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  • Some people say, “If you can not beat them, join them.” I say “If you can not beat them, beat them” because they will be waiting for you to join them, then you will have the element of surprise.
  • Why do Americans choose only two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  • Crowded elevators smell different to dwarfs.
  • You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need one parachute to jump twice.
  • The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • The main reason Santa is so cheerful is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  • Laugh at your problems, everybody does.
  • Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Super Funny Jokes

  • It is not the fall that kills you; It’s the sudden stop at the end.
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  • Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect this back.
  • He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  • We have sufficient gun control. What we need is stupid control.
  • Hospitality: Make your guests feel they are at home, even if you want.
  • My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
  • Money can not buy happiness, but it certainly makes misery easier to live.
  • I have found that I cry the same way if I am about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
  • I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
  • Women can not beat stronger, but they beat lower.
  • A little boy asked his father, “Dad, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I do not know, son, I’m still paying.”
  • Worrying work! 90% of the things that I care about never happen.
  • Remember … if the world does not suction, we all fall.
  • My psychiatrist told me that I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said yes, you’re ugly too.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
  • God loves you, but everyone thinks you’re an idiot.
  • I do not trust anything that bleeds for five days and does not die.
  • I like to work. That fascinates me. I sit and look at him for hours.
  • I should have known that it was not going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.

ONE LINER JOKES

  • Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
  • There is a fine line between cuddling and holding someone so they can not get away.
  • I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
  • You’re never too old to learn anything stupid.
  • When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
  • You are such a good friend that if we were together in a shipwreck and there was only a lifejacket … I would miss you and think of you many times.
  • I had a fight once with a really big guy, and he said, “I’ll rub the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yes, why? ” I said,” Well, you will not be able to get into the corners very well. “
  • Knowledge is power and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
  • Does this cloth smell of chloroform?
  • With enough momentum, pigs fly well.
  • To make sure you hit the target, shoot first and call out what hit you.
  • A bargain is something you do not need at a price you can not resist.

IDOIT JOKE FOR MOBILE

  • Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination.
  • A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing scrubs you like a computer.
  • If winning is not everything, why do they keep score?
  • If at first you do not succeed, skydiving is not for you!
  • A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
  • Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
  • Who coined the phrase “Silence like a rat” never stepped on one.
  • If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
  • Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

 

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